Santo vs. The Vampire Women

Santo vs. The Vampire Women (Santo contra las mujeres vampire)

1962

Director- Alfonso Corona Blake

Cast- Santo, Lorena Velázquez,  María Duval, Ofelia Montesco, Jaime Fernández, Augusto Benedico, Xavier Loyá, Fernando Osés, Guillermo Hernández, Nathanael León

           
From Mexico

    If you’re not familiar with the Mexican sensation that is Santo, I’m not sure if there is a cultural equivalent. Imagine Hulk Hogan, Wyatt Earp, and Superman all rolled into one and that might come close. Mexican luchadore wrestler, El Santo (The Saint).  starred in over 50 films where he fought Martians, witches, mummies, martial artists and every other nefarious thing that you can imagine. In this installment, maybe the best known outside of Mexico, he fights a coven of vampire women.

            

    The first thing that you need to do in order to enjoy this movie is to toss out your ideas about what a horror movie SHOULD be. Mexican horror takes recognizable elements from European and Hollywood movies but also filters it through its own unique culture, kind of like how The Day of the Dead is an obvious analog to the Anglo-Saxon Halloween but has unique elements that set it apart.

        

 

     The beginning of the film focuses on a coven of vampire women, seeking a successor for their queen. Tundra  (Ofelia Montesco)  is the high priestess of the coven. She awakes her sisters and their three male servants. The vampire women, before they get blood are old, desiccated hags. After getting their nourishment they turn in to toga clad beauties, each one glamorous and sexy. Their servants are muscular men wearing what looks like wrestling tights with black capes. Even though they have the typical vampire powers (hypnotism, turn into a bat etc.) they get their victims by running up behind them and giving them a blow to the back of the head like they’re getting mugged for their wallet!

           

    After securing nourishment, they revive their queen, Zorina ( real life Miss Mexico, Lorena Velázquez who couldn’t look more glamorous if she tried). The coven serves Satan and Zorina has a limited time on the Earth before she must go back to the dark world from which she came (there is a really cool effect, where we never actually see the Devil, we only see his shadow on the wall). Before her time is up she must find a successor to be queen of the coven. They have their eye on Diana (María Duval) a young woman who prophecy states should be their queen. She even has a birth mark on her shoulder that looks like a bat!

           

    Diana’s father is a loremaster and knows the doom that awaits his daughter, so he contacts Santo to aid the police in protecting his daughter on her 21^st birthday (the days she is meant to ascend to the vampire throne). The vampire coven tries to stop Santo, including a scene where one of them fights him in the ring, a scene which was homaged in the 2019 Hellboy film. They finally succeed in kidnapping Diana and Santo must track them down and face the coven in their lair.

            

    The beginning of the film is as creepy as anything Unviersal put out in the 40s and if you didn’t know what you were watching you’d think it was a straight up horror film. The movie gets silly at times. I don’t think it was meant to make sense as much as it was supposed to just be fun. Part horror, part live action comic book, part wrestling, Santo vs. The Vampire Women offers an interesting, sometimes bizarre, mixture of genres and imagery.

Halloween 3:Season of the Witch

 

Halloween 3:Season of the Witch

1982

Director-  Tommy Lee Wallace

Cast- Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, Dan O’Herlhy

Music by John Carpenter and Alan Howarth

                      

    You probably already know the origin of the movie. Michael Myers was dead at the end of Halloween 2 and Hollywood had not yet decided to make its slashers immortal so it was time to move on. Part 3 was to be the first of many Halloween films that would all be different.  However, folks just couldn’t dig a movie called Halloween that didn’t star Mike. If the tag had been left off and the film had just been billed as Season of the Witch, it may have fared better.

            

    This movie is one of the most bizarre combinations of themes you are likely to find. A millionaire toy maker (Dan O’Herley) is hatching a scheme to end the world as we know it. He has transported a piece of Stonehenge to a factory in America. There he uses a complex array of technology to channel eldritch forces. This energy is transmitted, via a microchip, into Halloween masks that do some really horrible stuff when activated. Assisting him is an army of androids! A doctor going through a failed marriage (Tom Atkins) and a young woman (Stacey Nelkin) stumble on the conspiracy and then try to stop it.

           

    Without a doubt the best known part of the movie is the Silver Shamrock theme song (“Happy Happy Halloween Halloween!). An earworm from Hell, once you start singing it, it will be there all day.

            

    As weird as this film is, it somehow manages to hold itself together. It is very moody. John Carpenter’s musical handiwork is immediately recognizable in the score. Most films shy away from violence against children, but this film doesn’t, showing it in pretty dramatic fashion.

           

   The dread in the film builds and a real sense of paranoia is evident almost from the beginning. We are exposed to increasingly bizarre things. Accepting these makes it that much easier, by the end of the film, to go along with its weird science-magic premise. Genre great, Tom Atkins and Stacy Nelkins are believable as average people caught up in a supernatural conspiracy. Dan O’Herlhy makes my top 10 villains list with his portrayal of a modern day witch using technology to work magic.

           

    Watch Halloween 3 and just accept what you see. Don’t try to reconcile the disparate elements. The incongruity adds to the fear.

The Midnight Hour

The Midnight Hour

1985

Director- Jack Bender

Cast-Shari Belafonte, LeVar Burton, Lee Montgomery, Peter DeLuise,  Dedee Pfeiffer, Jonna Lee, Dick Van Patten, Kurtwood Smith, Kevin McCarthy, Wolfman Jack

          

     This was a made for TV movie by ABC that premiered  in 1985. It has a good cast with genre favorites LeVar Burton, Kevin McCarthy and Kurtwood Smith.  It combines horror and humor with an outstanding soundtrack of mostly mid 60’s music which helps give it the feel of an old school movie.

          

 

     The New England town of Ptchford (known colloquially as Ptchfork) lives with an ancient tale of a slave, Lucinda, that was hanged for witchcraft.  Melissa, a high school student, is the modern day descendant of Lucinda. One of her classmates, Phil, is the ancestor of the witch hunter that had her executed. The clothes and effects of Lucinda and the witch hunter are kept in the town’s witchcraft museum. Halloween is approaching and Melissa and her friends get the idea to steal the clothes and use them for Halloween costumes. After stealing the clothes they find a scroll with an incantation. Melissa reads it aloud and before long supernatural forces are unleashed. Lucinda the witch returns, zombies rise from the cemetery, a werewolf is stalking the town and a very out of place looking girl, Sandy, is walking around. Sandy is dressed like a cheerleader from the 50s and acts like it too.

            

    The school kids are gathering at Melissa’s house for a Halloween party and zombies begin to crash the party but no one realizes that their rotted flesh isn’t a Halloween costume.  Phil strikes out with all of the girls at the party and leaves, running into Sandy, who seems to be trying to make up for lost time in the fun department. Meanwhile, Lucinda has crashed the party as well and it turns out that in addition to being an undead witch, she’s also a vampire. She bites her descendant Melissa, turning her into a vampire, who in turn bites her boyfriend and so forth.

           

     Phil is having the time of his life with Sandy until they are attacked by a werewolf. Sandy, who we now know has returned from the dead herself, though very hot instead of gross and rotting, lets Phil in on what is going on. She and Phil have to stop it and they only have until the end of Halloween night to do it.

           

     The movie is in cheesey in places and seems very influenced by Michael Jackson’s Thriller video. Never the less it is original and has heart that makes it memorable and enjoyable. There are none of the typical rules that we usually see with vampires and zombies and elements seen to be chosen because they are cool or fun. The classic music makes it seem like a creepy music video at times. A fun movie if you want a light hearted Halloween story.

  

The Devil's Wedding Night

The Devil’s Wedding Night (Full Moon of the Virgins, Il plenilunio delle vergini)

1973

Director- Luigi Batzella, Joe D'Amato

From Italy

Cast- Mark Damon, Rosalba Neri, Esmeralda Barro, Xiro Papas, Enza Sbordone

            

    I have to confess, I came across this movie by accident by way of Elvira’s Movie Macabre, which is fine by me. If I had my way, all B movies would be hosted by Elvira. And make no mistake, this is a B movie. Its super confusing sometimes but this movie stands out not because it is well put together but because it is so original. It definitely wasn’t written by formulaic studio executives cashing in on tried and true tropes.

            

     Franz (long time Hollywood veteran, Mark Damon) is a scholar in search of the fabled Ring of the Nibelung (yes the same Ring that is at the center of the Wagner operas, bet you weren’t expecting that!) So he sets out on a quest for Castle Dracula in Transylvania where his research has told him that it has ended up. Franz is familiar with the region’s vampiric reputation so he takes some protection. Does he take a cross? No, he takes an amulet of the demon Pazuzu (yes, that Pazuzu, the antagonist of The Exorcist).

            

    Franz arrives to find he is on the eve of a night that the local villagers fear, The Night of the Virgin moon, a night that occurs once every 50 years. On that night, virgin girls disappear to who knows what end. Franz goes to the castle and rather than finding Dracula, he finds a beautiful countess and her exotic servant girl. The Countess seduces him and turns out to be a vampire herself. She turns him into one too and at this point the movie goes a little off the rails with some vaguely psychedelic montage that does include some hot Elizabeth Bathory-esque imagery.

            

    Did I mention that Franz has a twin brother? Taking a page from Twins of Evil, Franz’s brother shows up (also played by Damon). The Countess uses her magic Ring to summon up some hot virgins, invokes various Lords of Hell, and has herself a Black Mass with lots of nudity and virgin sacrifice, all for the purpose of enabling the dear departed Dracula to inhabit Franz’s body. His brother of course tries to foil this scheme.

           

    The movie feels like the product of loving fans, the same kind that write fan fiction where Superman fights Galactus or Indiana Jones teams up with Hellboy. I mean, in one movie we get Norse mythology, Pazuzu, Dracula, and Satanism all with a heavy Hammer influence and generous helpings of nudity. If only more movies were this gutsy (crazy?)

  

The She Beast (Revenge of the Blood Beast)

The She Beast (Revenge of the Blood Beast)

1966

Director- Michael Reeves

Cast- Barbara Steele, John Karlsen, Ian Ogilvy, Mel Welles, Joe "Flash" Riley, Ennio Antonelli, Lucretia Love

            

     A British couple are traveling through 1960’s era communist controlled Transylvania for their honeymoon (because nothing says love like the Eastern Block). Philip (Ian Ogilvy) and Veronica (Barbara Steele) are a happy couple who always seem to be in on their own private joke. They stop at an inn ran by a truly vile inn keeper and meet a strange man who introduces himself as Count Von Helsing (Karlsen), the latest member of the famed family that exterminated Dracula. Of course, he’s not really a Count now that the communists have taken his castle and his title. He says that he remains in his home country to fight any evil threats that may rear their head. One such evil threat is a 17^th century witch, Vardella, who terrorized the area. Vardella was executed (in a really originally way which involved being impaled to a dunking chair and drowned in a lake) but her soul was not exorcised and it still remains, waiting to re-emerge.

            

   

Phillip and Veronica, in a freak accident run their car off the road and into the lake. Vardella’s spirit takes possession of Veronica, turning her physically into Vardella’s  hideous form. Vardella then runs rampant, murdering and wreaking havoc. Phiilp and Von Helsing have to track her down, capture her and exorcise her spirit in order to save Veronica.

            

    This movie is quirky. It can’t seem to make up its mind whether its horror or comedy and has a lot of the silliness of the popular movies of that era. It’s an original idea, but not well executed. I guess we have to give the director a break though. This was Michael Reeves directorial debut. He would find his stride quickly though. His 3^rd film was the excellent Witchfinder General with Vincent Price! Unfortunately he would die soon after from an accidental over dose.

            

    The only fault I can find with the film is that there wasn’t enough Barbara Steele! Once she gets possessed she is replaced with another actor and doesn’t show her face again until the end of the film. On the other hand, it is a chance to see Barbara in color, so you take the good with the bad.

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama

   

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama

2017

Director- David DeCoteau

Cast- Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer, Brinke Stevens, Andras Jones, Robin Stille, Kathi O'Brecht, John Stuart Wildman, Hal Havins, Hal Havins, George Buck Flower

            

    A trio of frat boys, after getting caught peeping at a sorority spanking initiation have to help two pledges (Michelle Bauer and Brinke Stevens) break into a bowling alley and steal something as a further part of the initiation. While there, they run into another burglar (Linnea Quigley). They are being surreptitiously monitored by the older members of the sorority. 

            

     As it turns out, thanks to a convoluted plot device, they release an imp that was trapped in a bowling trophy. The imp at first promises to grant them wishes, but that turns into a scam. He turns the older sorority sisters into his murderous servants and turns Michelle Bauer into a nymphomaniac (see, he’s not all bad). Various shenanigans and deaths ensue as the survivors try to escape the bowling alley.

            

    This film is not really that good (objectively speaking), even for a B movie. Its value lies in its stars and the connections it has to other, much better movies. George Buck Flowers has starred in about half of John Carpenter's films. Hal Havins, who plays one of the frat boys, also starred as Stooge in the excellent Night of the Demons, which also starred Quigley. Dukey Flyswatter, who is the voice of the Imp, starred in Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, which starred Bauer and Quigley,and also appeared in Nightmare Sisters (which starred Bauer, Quigley and Stevens).  Those two movies were made back to back by the same director. 

        David DeCoteay made Sorority Babes first and then with the left over resources knocked out Nightmare Sisters in a few days. For a long time, those  two films are the only films to star all 3 of the scream queens, Quigley, Bauer, and Stevens, and they're the only films to star all 3 that were made during the height of their careers.

            

    Despite any problems the film has, it does have a  lot of admirers. If you’re a fan of scream queens, you get a pretty lengthy scene of Brinke Stevens naked and Michelle Bauer spends most of the film naked or topless. Of course, in terms of nudity, it can’t hold a candle to Nightmare Sisters. The bathtub scene in that movie is the stuff of legend. So, while not a particularly good movie, it has some value for fans 80's B- movies. I think it should probably be packaged in a 2 movie set with Nightmare Sisters.

Faust: Love of the Damned

 

Faust: Love of the Damned

2000

Director-Brian Yuzna

Cast- Mark Frost, Isabel Brook, Jeffery Combs, Andrew Divoff, Monica Van Campen

            

   This film was based on the Tim Vigil comic of the same name. In the 80s, in response to the success of books like Watchmen and characters like Wolverine and the Punisher, the comics industry rushed to make darker and grittier characters. At the same time, the rise of the comic book store made it possible to widely distribute comics that would never be Code approved and sold in your local grocery store. Faust, the comic, is a direct product of that era and this movie would probably have been more shocking if it had been made about 10 years earlier.

            

     This is the story of John Jaspers who sells his soul to the devil (played by Andrew Divoff looking very Billy Drago-esque) for the power to take revenge upon his girlfriend’s murderers. John then becomes a tool of Mephistopheles who uses him as a sort of hitman. John eventually breaks his deal and runs, drawing a beautiful psychiatrist (played by Isabel Brook) and a veteran cop (played by genre legend Jeffery Combs) into his dark and bloody life.

           

    Brian Yuzna, who directed Bride of the Reanimator and Return of the Living Dead 3, brings his sense of humor and gore. The most memorable scene in the film is where beautiful nymphomaniac Claire (Monica Van Campen) has her intangible characteristics made into tangible reality when she is transformed into a giant set of breasts with a face.

  There are a few good gore scenes, but the film relies too much on cheap CGI and the demonic transformation of John Japers, which is supposed to look like a dark super hero, complete with cape and cowl ,but instead it looks like a Gwar version of Wolverine.

 The highlights are sexy Monica Van Campen who is in various stages of undress throughout the film and Jeffery Combs who provides a solid performance as always. The film isn’t bad, but it isn’t great either. Fans of the comic or fans of Jeffery Combs will want to see it. Everyone else should only watch it if you can accept it for what it is; a B grade fantasy with gore and lots of gratuitous nudity.

Hellboy (2004,2019)

Hellboy

2004

Director- Guillermo del Toro

Cast- Ron Perlman, John Hurt, Selma Blair, Doug Jones, David Hyde Pierce, Karel Roden, Rupert Evans, Bridget Hodson, Jeffrey Tambor

           

     I went back and forth on how to classify this film.  It isn’t really horror but it’s also not obviously something else. It’s sort of an action film. Despite its title it doesn’t fit into the typical God vs. Satan mythology. But then again it doesn’t fit into anything. Or really it fits into a lot of things all at once. Mike Mignola’s signature comic combines a heavy dose of Lovecraft, liberally sprinkled with folklore and mythology from all over the world and filters it through Christian and gothic imagery. It’s this improbable mixture (along with Mignola’s art) that has made the comic so endearing.

          

      If you’re not familiar with it, the plot of the movie (which is reasonably close to the comic) goes like this. The Mad Monk himself, Rasputin, teams up with Nazi’s to unleash some Lovecraftian god frozen in space, and in the process, lets loose a baby demon who is then raised by a parapsychologist to be a weapon against the evil supernatural forces around the world. Teamed up with him are a pyrokinetic and a blue Creature from the Black Lagoon. Yeah, it may not sound like it works but it does.

      

    

    I give the movie a B+. It succumbs to Hollywoodisms with silly stunts, an unneeded schmuck  character for a narrative device and the unfortunate decision to turn the creepy Karl Kroenen into a robot ninja. Despite all this, it keeps the spirit of the comic and is pretty spot on with its visual translation of the characters from comic to film. The main attraction of course is Ron Perlman as Hellboy. He looks great and the look is achieved through old school makeup and not a bunch of distracting CGI.

           

     A sequel was made a few years later, The Golden Army. Although it was a more successful movie, it veers too far away from the dark creepiness of the comic and feels more like Hellboy meets Tolkein. The reboot, although financially a flop, was more enjoyable.

Hellboy

2019

Director- Neil Marshall

Cast- David Harbour, Milla Jovovich, Ian McShane, Sasha Lane, Daniel Dae Kim, Thomas Haden Church

     

      This movie has a lot going for it. One could easily say it’s a genre fan’s dream. David Harbour (Stranger Things) dons the horns this time. His nemesis is Mila Jovovich (Fifth Element, Resident Evil) with Ian McShane (Deadwood, John Wick) in support. The whole thing is over seen by Neil Marhsall (Dog Soldiers, Doomsday). What it didn’t have was Ron Perlman, and that was just a bridge too far for most fans it seems. Many fans hated the film 6 months before they saw it (like the similarly doomed Solo: A Star Wars Story, and like with Solo, they seemed to go out of their way to torpedo it on social media.)

           

    I never could understand this reaction. The studio offered the job to Ron and he turned it down. Also, it had been 15 years since the first Hellboy film. One can hardly blame him for moving on. But alas, such is the fickle nature of the modern fan. God help whoever is eventually picked to replace Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. That poor sap will probably never know what hit him.

            

     As for Mila, can we all just acknowledge that she is immortal? It’s been over 20 years since Fifth Element and she is still astonishingly beautiful.

            

    As for the movie itself, in this installment, Hellboy and his crew are fighting a thousand year old witch (Jovovich) who is trying to summon an army of demons. If you’ve seen Doomsday, you are familiar with what Marshall can do in terms of mixing genre elements. This film crams lucha libre wrestling, vampires, a lycanthrope, demons, giants, Baba Yaga, ectoplasmic spirit channeling, Nazis, Merlin and King Arthur and a ton of gore into 2 hours. I thought it was a wild, fun film and well worth the price of admission. The film got decent reviews from fans who saw it, but too many fans, through misplaced loyalty, just avoided it.

            

     If you’re not married to the idea that Ron has to be Hellboy, this film will give you everything you could want. If on the other hand, you can’t stomach the idea of passing the torch, best just leave the movie alone as it will no doubt drive up your blood pressure.

 

 

The Long Hair of Death

Long Hair of Death

1964

Director- Antonio Margheriti

Cast- Barbara Steele, George Ardisson, Halina Zalewska, Laura Nucci, Giuliano Raffaelli,  Umberto Raho, Nello Pazzafini

From Italy

          

     Ever beautiful gothic beauty Barbara Steele plays Helen, a young woman whose mother is about to be burned for witchcraft. Helen goes to the feudal lord, Count Humbolt, to beg for mercy. The Count blames her mother for the death of his brother. Helen says she can prove that her mother is innocent. The Count says he’ll listen to her, but first he decides to have his way with her. While he has his way with her, Helen’s mother is burned anyway. As the flames consume her, Helen’s mother pronounces a curse on the village and the Humbolt family. To hide the shame of what he has done, the Count murders Helen. Helen’s younger sister, Lisabeth, is now alone in the world, being raised by a woman of the court, in the castle of the man who murdered her mother and sister.

         

     A few years go by and Lisabeth has not only become a beautiful young woman, but also the spitting image of her mother. The Count’s son, Kurt, has his eye on Lisabeth and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. He isn’t smitten with her in a romantic sense but is more like a possessive child who wants a new toy. Lisabeth refuses his advances so, as the Lord’s son, he marries her and she has no choice. As her husband, he has his way with her. Meanwhile, the curse that her mother pronounced has come to fruition. The Count is in failing health and can feel death’s icy fingers closing on him and a plague is ravaging the village.

           

     During a sermon attended by the nobility a storm comes up. The doors of the church swing open and a young woman is standing there, the spitting image of Helen, whom the Count murdered. Seeing her, his heart finally fails and he dies. She says that her name is Mary and that she has become lost after her carriage was overturned on the road.

            

     She is taken into the castle and Kurt’s infatuation with Lisabeth is forgotten as he shifts his attentions to Mary. She plays coy and his desire for her increases. They finally seal the deal on their lust and he hatches a plot to kill his wife Lisabeth so that he can have Mary all of the time. He carries out his plot, murdering her in her sleep. The only problem is, even though he never sees her again, everyone else in the castle claims to see her and talk to her and acts as if nothing is wrong. Is his wife dead or not? And who is this Mary that looks like the dead Helen? All of these mysteries are solved in the film’s conclusion.

       

   

     This is a very moody film. It’s forgotten, I think, in the shadow of the superior Black Sunday, another Italian gothic Barbara Steele story. The Long Hair of Death has a lot going for it though. It is very creepy with a macabre musical score. The 15^th century setting with its dark castle, hidden passages and dusty crypts, create the right mood. A perfect film if you’ve just watched Black Sunday and are still hungry for more Barbara Steele.