The Pope's Exorcist

 

The Pope’s Exorcist

2023

Director- Julius Avery

Cast- Russell Crowe, Alex Essoe, Laurel Marsden, Peter DeSouza-Feighoney. Daniel Zovatto, Ralph Michael Ineson, Franco Nero

            This film serves as a dramatization (with a quite a few liberties I imagine) of the real life exploits of Father Gabriele Amorth, a Catholic Priest and exorcist who, over the course of his life performed some 160,000 exorcisms (when did he have time to eat and sleep?).

            This story follows Julia (Alex Essoe) and her two broody children after they have just relocated to Europe. Apparently, her husband has died and her only possession is a ruined abbey that had been in her husband’s family for centuries. Construction crews, knocking about, free a trapped demon that promptly possesses Julia’s son and terrorizes the family. The local priest calls Rome for help and Russel Crowe is dispatched to do battle with the demon.

            The Father soon figures out that possession is just a small part of the demon’s plan. A long-buried conspiracy comes to light as he peels away the layers of the demon’s machinations.

            If you are expecting a full-on horror show like The Exorcist or a taut thriller like Exorcist 3, you better pump the brakes now. The Pope’s Exorcist is a horror movie but played more for entertainment. It reminded me of a bigger budget version of Paul Naschy’s Exorcism than a typical possession film.

            Horror fans will find a lot to like. The film isn’t particularly scary but has lots of nice, creepy and satanic imagery. There are some good practical make-up effects and only in a few places does the film indulge in obvious CGI.

There is also a good horror cast. Daniel Zovatto (Crowe’s fellow priest in the film) has done a few horror films including It Follows. If Alex Essoe looks familiar its because she’s developed quite a horror resume even though she isn’t really thought of as a scream queen just yet. She’s starred in Tales of Halloween, Midnight Mass, The Haunting of Bly Manor and played Wendy Torrence in Dr. Sleep. And if the voice of the demon sounds familiar, that’s because it's Ralph Ineson known to many from his roles in Game of Thrones and The Witch.

            The most unusual casting though has to be Franco Nero as The Pope. Yep, you read that right. The original Django and the titular character in Cannon’s inaugural ninja film, Enter the Ninja, plays the most virile looking Pope you’ve ever seen.

            Franco’s unusual casting aside, The Pope’s Exorcist isn’t going to live forever in the annals of satanic cinema. However, if you are looking for a fun scary diversion for 90 minutes, there are worst ways to spend your time. 

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Something Wicked This Way Comes

1983

Director- Jack Clayton

Cast- Vidal Peterson, Shawn Carson, Jason Robards, Jonathan Pryce, Royal Dano, Mary Grace Canfield, Diane Ladd, Pam Grier, Angelo Rossitto

      

      This movie, adapted for the screen by Ray Bradbury from his own book is surprisingly dark for a Disney film. The 2000s saw a big push to market kid friendly fantasy films, motivated mainly by the success of the Harry Potter franchise, but the 1980s saw several good fantasy films that were superficially aimed at kids but were also very mature and dark. Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, The Black Cauldron and Time Bandits are probably the best examples. Something Wicked this Way Comes isn’t as good as those films (probably owing to problems in its production) but is definitely darker than those other films and has some scary memorable moments.

         

    It centers on two young boys, Will Holloway and Jim Nightshade (how’s that for a name). Jim’s father left him years ago and Will’s father (played by Jason Robards) is much too old to be a young boy’s father. They are best friends and do everything together. One dark October night a carnival comes to town led by the evil Mr. Dark (played by a young Jonathan Pryce, who would have many villainous roles later in life, most recently as the High Sparrow in Game of Thrones). The carnival lures people in and transforms them by granting their deepest wishes (often rather ironically).  Will’s father, who is the town librarian, discovers the carnival has been to the town before, many years ago, and tragedy followed its visit.

          

    Mr. Dark is an obvious Satanic figure and the analogy is spelled out in the movie. “It seems they destroy people by granting their dearest wishes, as has been the way of the Devil, since God created the world.” Mr. Dark has a band of followers as well; the exotic Dust Witch (played by the beautiful Pam Grier), Mr. Cooger, who is made younger or older by a magical carousel so that he can wreak havoc, a little person (played by Angelo Rossitto who you may recognize as the smaller half of Master Blaster in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome )and others. The carnival travels the world, feeding off of people’s misery and their unfulfilled desires.

           

   The story plays on two themes. First is the pervasive nature of evil as it is able to get a foothold in so many people through their unfulfilled desires. Second is the eternal nature of evil shown in the fact that carnival has been around so long and continues to return. The film is not a deep meditation on evil, but it is a surprising one.

 

 

Chemical Wedding

Chemical Wedding (Crowley)

2008

Director- Julian Doyle

Cast- Simon Callow, Kal Weber, Lucy Cudden, Jud Charlton, Paul McDowell, Terence Bayler, John Shrapnel, Esmé Bianco, Helen Millar

            It’s odd that, given his sinister reputation, and his effect on popular culture, there aren’t more movies about Aleister Crowley. Several movie sorcerers have been based on or inspired by the old magician (Mocata in The Devil Rides Out and Dr. Karswell in Night of the Demon come to mind). This film, rather than a biography, is an imaginative “what if”.

            The story begins with the death of Aleister Crowley after he finds out that L. Ron Hubbard and physicist Jack Parsons were trying to summon an elemental (just one of the many strange things you’ll learn from this film). Fast forward 50 years and Crowley is reincarnated in the body of a stuttering Cambridge literature professor. The reincarnation isn’t done in the usual way of séances or pentagrams. Oh no. It’s accomplished through a convoluted mechanism of virtual reality and, I guess, chaos magic.      

   

   The reborn Beast, after a shocking display of profanity and urophelia, sets about putting together the ritual needed to conjure up his own elemental. Along the way are lots of references to sex magic, Crowley mythology, and quantum physics. I’d like to be more descriptive, but even after two viewings, it is still a very dense movie with a lot of information to process. Game of Thrones fans will recognize, and appreciate, a very sexy appearance by Esmé Bianco.  

   Chemical Wedding refers to an alchemy term. The American release was given the more boring but straight forward title, Crowley. I suppose the big marketing point for this film is that it was written by Bruce Dickinson, lead singer of Iron Maiden. However, you shouldn’t expect a heavy metal inspired horror fest on par with House of a 1000 Corpses. This movie is anything but that. It feels more like Lair of the White Worm mixed with Lawnmower Man, sprinkled with some soft core porn.

If that description seems impossible to fathom, well that’s about the same feeling you’ll have after you watch this film. Don’t watch it expecting to come away with some intimate knowledge of The Beast. Rather, you will probably have to stop the movie several times to look up occult terms like Scarlet Woman and Moon Child, or Bible verses, physics theories or other esoteric references. You will come away with more questions than answers. Of course, Crowley would have probably been OK with that.

The Unamable

The Unamable

1988

Director- Jean-Paul Ouellette

Cast- Mark Kinsey Stephenson, Charles Klausmeyer, Alexandra Durrell, Laura Albert, Katrin Alexandre

           

Like many films based on the works of H.P. Lovecraft, they are adaptations in spirit only. After all, it’s hard to take a horror so indescribable that it will drive you mad and translate that to a visual medium. Most of Lovecraft’s monsters (or those monsters in movies inspired by him) couldn't be considered "demons" in the usual sense. After all, to believe in the Devil, one has to believe in the Christian God and Lovecraft postulated a universe populated by deities that were both alien and ambivalent towards humanity.  The Unamable however is an exception. The story is on a much smaller scale than the usual mad-wizard-opens-a-gate-to-unkown-realities-releasing-horrors-upon-humanity. Another difference between this and the usual Lovecraft inspired stories is the Unnamable creature itself. With its cloven hooves, horns, and wings, it would look very much at home in any Christian’s nightmares of Hell (unlike most Lovecraftian monsters that look like tentacle porn without the porn).

            The plot concerns an old New England house near the premises of Miskatonic University. In the olden days, an abomination was born and sealed inside the house by its father. Now, hundreds of years later, the house exists as a local legend. A group of college kids end up in the house and are stalked by the abomination within. They are ultimately saved by Randolph Carter, one of their number, who is wise in the ways of the supernatural. Randolph finds a copy of the dread Necronomicon (just left lying around like no big deal right) and uses its secrets to deal with the creature.

            The film is low budget and is the archetypal straight to video 80s horror film complete with a cast of people you don’t know and a synthesizer soundtrack. But it has a lot going for it. Mark Kinsey Stephenson and Charles Klausmeyer make a good team with Stephenson playing the armature occult investigator and Klausmeyer as his skeptical Average Joe friend. Stephenson especially is perfect for the role and I would have liked to have seen him in an entire franchise.

            The real star of the film though is the creature itself. The old school make-up and prosthetics look great and the design is very memorable. Katrin Alexandre does a great job of acting through the make-up and selling the performance. It’s pretty far into the film before we get to see the creature, but when we finally do, its worth the wait.

The Unamable 2: The Statement of Randolph Carter (The Unnamable Returns)

1993

Director- Jean-Paul Ouellette

Cast- Mark Kinsey Stephenson, Charles Klausmeyer, John Rhys-Davies, David Warner, Maria Ford, Julie Strain

            A competent sequel, the first thing you’ll notice is the bigger budget allowed for them to spring for some talent. Genre fans will recognize David Warner (The Omen, Time Bandits, Waxwork) and John Rhys-Davies (Lord of the Rings, Raiders of the Lost Ark and interestingly, also Waxwork) and older fans may recognize cowboy actor Peter Breck (Big Valley). Though fans may not recognize her under the make-up, pin-up model, scream queen and inspiration for F.A.K.K.2, Julie Strain is the creature.

            In this installment we find out the origin of the creature. Hundreds of year ago, an Arkham warlock summoned a demon and bound it too his daughter. Our intrepid heroes successfully separate the two into the demon and the now naked girl (Maria Ford).

            The creature doesn’t look quite as good as in the first film. The original was ghastly white and very lithe. This new version is a more a fleshy tone. Also, Julie Strain, who is very tall and athletic, makes for a more imposing, but somehow less scary creature. I’m not sure why they would use someone as beautiful as Julie and then cover her up, unless it was just so they could list “Penthouse Pet of the Month” in their promos.

Even though the same director helmed both films, this one lacks the creepy ambiance of the first. The story gets a little bogged down with its attempts to be logical, bringing blood samples and quantum physics into the equation, but it provides for a decent continuation of the original story, if not as scary.

Artwork for the blu-ray release

Pin-up model, scream queen, Amazon and inspiration of fantasies wore the latex suit in part 2.

The Witch

The Witch

2015

Director- Robert Eggers

Cast- Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson, Kate Dickie, Harvey Scrimshaw, Ellie Grainger, Lucas Dawson, Sarah Stephens

       

   

A family of Puritans in 17^th century America is exiled due to some religious dispute. They try to make their home in the wilderness but they are plagued by a witch that lives in the forest. Their infant child is kidnapped and another son goes missing and returns cursed. The family starts disintegrating.

            In the middle of it all is Thomasin, their daughter and eldest child. She is blamed for the misfortunes that have befallen the family and is even suspected of being a witch herself. Thomasin (brilliantly played by Anya Taylor-Joy) suspects that the powers of darkness lurk in Black Phillip, the family’s goat.

            The Witch is very concerned with the issue of evil, not just the esoteric evil of a witch, but the mundane every day evils in our hearts.  The family members are obsessed with it. The oldest son Caleb is afraid he will go to hell. He has sexual thoughts about his sister (who is, after all, the only girl he ever sees) and he is sure that he is damned.  When their baby disappears there is concern whether or not even that innocent child went to heaven or hell. Absent is the modern conception of grace where “being saved” guarantees a ticket to heaven. These Puritans see it as a daily struggle with no clear way to know if you were one of God’s chosen.

The drama of the deteriorating family is so strong that it’s easy to forget there even is a witch. But make no mistake, this is no psycho-drama where people simply imagine evil or impose their own delusions. The scenes of the supernatural are few but they are potent, such as the witch making the legendary flying potion from the fat of a baby. The ending of the film is disconcerting and shocking. If the film’s main questions were about the nature of evil, the film’s answer brings no comfort.

In addition to being an excellent, moody, period piece, the film succeeds in many technical aspects. The sometimes cacophonous score was unnerving and reminiscent at times of 2001. Filmed with all natural lighting and simple sets, you really see how dark and scary the world was before modern technology drove away the darkness.  Finally, in addition to Anya’s fine performance as Thomasin, Ralph Ineson (Game of Thrones and Harry Potter) and Katie Dickle (Game of Thrones and Prometheus) do fine jobs as her parents who are torn apart by the curse upon their family.

Five Million Years to Earth (Quatermass and the Pit)

Five Million Years to Earth (Quatermass and the Pit)

1967

Director- Roy Ward Baker

Cast- James Donald, Andrew Keir, Barbara Shelley, Julian Glover

Forty years before Mulder and Scully would investigate the X-Files, Professor Quatermass was investigating strange phenomenon of extra-terrestrial origin is a series of British serials which were later the basis for a series of movies by Hammer Studios.  Quatermass and the Pit (known in America by the much more fun title, Five Million Years to Earth) Is the third movie adaptation of the series.

While working on a subway tunnel, a work crew uncovers a human skull which gets the attention of an anthropologist and his assistant (James Donald and Barbara Shelley) who begin an archeological dig. They find an artificial object which is initially thought to be an unexploded bomb dropped by the Germans in WW2. This brings in a British colonel (Julian Glover) and Professor Quatermass himself (Andrew Kier).

While investigating the area around subway (called Hob’s Lane, Hob being an old nickname for the devil) Quatermass finds the area has a long history of reported supernatural activity. Going back through recorded history were sightings of ghosts and goblins. When the strange object is uncovered it is obviously not a bomb. It is impervious to tampering but the object opens itself, revealing the mummified remains of three creatures that look like giant, horned, insects.

Through examination of the creatures and the human remains found at the site, Quatermass and the anthropologists come to a bizarre conclusion. The insects are the remnants of an extinct race of Martians who, millions of years ago, took our ape like ancestors to Mars and accelerated their development to turn them into colonizers for Earth. In the process, memories of the Martians (whose silhouette looks like the classical image of Satan) were stored in the unconscious of the apes that would eventually evolve into our caveman ancestors.

The opening of the ship triggers a storm of telekinetic activity as well activating the unconscious memories stored in the population, which results in riots and mass hysteria which Quatermass has to stop.

The movie has held up well as a unique mixture of sci-fi and horror and (I think) influenced other movies as well. While many sci-fi movies show aliens as antagonistic, few classify them as outright evil. As the riots and telekinetic activity rage through London, I was reminded of the movie Lifeforce and can’t help but wonder if Tobe Hooper had this movie in mind at some point. There is also a scene, where the Martian craft is activated by news crews that looks suspiciously like Raiders of the Lost Ark, complete with cameras and lights exploding and a soldier spontaneously combusting. Of course, this could just be the over active imagination of someone who has seen too many movies.

Besides it’s far out concept that our idea of Satan is really a race memory of Martians stored in our collective unconscious, this movie has a lot going for it. The director, Roy Ward Baker went on to direct many good horror films for Hammer including Scars of Dracula, the kung-fu horror Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires and the template for all future lesbian vampire films, The Vampire Lovers.

It also features an outstanding cast with Quatermass being played by Andrew Kier who starred in what many consider the best of the Christopher Lee Draculas, Dracula Prince of Darkness. It also featured James Donald (who starred in several excellent films including The Great Escape, Bridge over the River Kwai and The Vikings), Barbara Shelley who also starred in Dracula Prince of Darkness and Julian Glover (Empire Strikes Back, Game of Thrones, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade).

Black Death

Black Death

2010

Director- Christopher Smith

Cast- Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayne, Carice van Houten, John Lynch, Tim McInnerny, Kimberly Nixon, David Warner, Johnny Harris,

  

         

Genre fans should love this film as it stars Sean Bean ( Boromir in Lord of the Rings, Ned Stark in Game of Thrones and too many other great things to mention), Carice van Houten (2 years before she would become Melisandre the Red Woman in Game of Thrones) and Eddie Redmayne (star of the Harry Potter spin off Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them). But the film has more going for it than just a great cast.

         In medieval England, as the plague ravages Europe, a young monk (Redmayne) is engaged in a romance with a girl despite his vow of chastity. She asks him to run away with her but he hesitates. She vows to wait for him in the forest. Before he can join her, a team of mercenaries, led by Sean Bean, arrive at the monastery.

            Apparently a nearby village is showing no signs of being ravaged by the plague so obviously it must be because they are in league with the devil. As it just so happens, Bean and his crew aren’t novices in this area and they bring with them all sorts of nasty devices used for interrogating witches. They enlist the young monk and set out to apprehend any nefarious necromancers.

     

On the way, the young monk finds reason to believe that his girlfriend is dead. Though his dreams of love are crushed, on the bright side, at least he won’t have to worry about violating his vows now. The group reaches the village and at first it seems like the journey has been all for naught. However, they soon learn that in fact the villagers have been practicing the black arts and they just found some new sacrifices.
     The leader of this coven, played perfectly by Carice van Houten, tries to entice the young monk to renounce his faith by promising to bring back his dead girlfriend.  In the end, the witches find they got more than they bargained for when they decide to make Bean their next sacrifice.
     The film has a cleaver script, great casting, great costumes, moves along at a good pace and ,though never really scary, is suspenseful. Highly recommended.