Evil Toons

 

 

Evil Toons

1992

Director- Fred Olen Ray

Cast- Madison Stone, Barbara Dare (Stacy Nix), Monique Gabrielle, Suzanne Ager, Dick Miller, Artie Johnson, Michelle Bauer, David Carradine, Don Dowe

            Four hot young girls are spending the weekend in an abandoned house to get it cleaned for the new owner in exchange for $100 (money went a lot further 30 years ago). Terry (Suzanne Ager) is the responsible leader. Jan (80s and 90s porn star Barbara Dare, here under the stage name Stacy Nix) is cool and laid back. Megan (statuesque scream queen Monique Gabrielle) is the naïve innocent. Roxanne (90s porn superstar Madison Stone) is the wild, horny member of the quartet. Checking on the girl’s is a goofy neighbor (Artie Johnson) and the long suffering Dick Miller (Demon Knight, The Howling, The Burbs, Gremlins and about a hundred other things)

A strange man (David Carradine) drops off a package which the girls open immediately to find an ancient grimoire. Its illustrated with cartoons of monsters having their way with beautiful ladies.  That night, one of the cartoons comes to life, in the form of a giant 2D cartoon monster that possesses Roxanne. She then goes about killing everyone and attempting to drag their souls to hell via a “soul shroud.” Naturally, nerdy Meg is the one that must stop her. In the midst of all of this are various contrived situations where the girls take off their clothes.

OK, so the plot is a little thin. But that’s not why you’d watch this movie. The first, second, and third reason you’d watch this film is for the cast. This is a good chance to see several 80s and 90s sexbombs all gathered in one place.

Suzanne Ager had a comparatively short but packed career, squeezing a lot of movies into a few years, including several others with Fred Olen Ray. However, her entire filmography is B movies and most of them are not easy to track down anymore.

Monique Gabrielle appeared in a long list of 80s movies of a surprising variety. She appeared in mainstream popular movies like Night Shift and Bachelor Party and forgotten B movies like Angel Eyes. She ranged from starring roles like in Deathstalker 2 to cameos like in Not of This Earth. Her catalogue ranges from rated PG to X. However, many of these movies have not made the transition from video to DVD or Blu Ray and are hard to find.

Barbara Dare had a prolific career in 80s porn. Her lithe, sultry presentation made her a favorite of the video store era. She also had a few mainstream appearances but porn is what she will always be remembered for. However, only a small part of her filmography has been preserved on modern media. That has nothing to do with Barbara and is just the nature of the porn business. Unlike Disney, which preserves films in their “vault”, porn has always been an in the moment business looking for the next thrill.  Much of the 80s and 90s porn that has made it to the internet are poor low resolution digital transfers of 3^rd generation video copies with fuzzy images and heavy pixelazation.

            Madison is likewise best known for her career in porn. Madison had an appearance, and a presentation, that was unique for her era. Her jet black hair (which was cut in Bettie Page bangs by the time she retired) , obvious tan lines, rock star fashion and piercings (she has a piercing named after her) set the stage for the alt. girls that would follow in her footsteps a decade later.  She cultivated a playful, sometimes goofy, image that was well suited for parts needing tongue in cheek or physical comedy. She puts that to good use in this film.

Madison has a bit more of her career preserved than Barbara, mainly because of her work with the “Evil Empire” (Evil Angel, Elegant Angel and Bruce Seven) which has kept a few of her movies in print. Still, many of her movies have ended up as pixelated, barely watchable, clips on the internet.

            Both Madison and Barbara worked in the era before most of porn had gone “gonzo” meaning the movies still had plots, so they were used to engaging in dialogue and playing a part. Sure, their acting wasn’t going to win an Oscar, but they were at least as good as the majority of actors in B horror movies.

 

 

 Evil Toons is self-referential (one might say self-deprecating), poking obvious fun at the horror genre in general. Fred Olen Ray was good at doing this without beating the joke to death. Dick Miller was always perfect for films that didn’t take themselves too seriously. He somehow convinces you that he is so tired and worn out, that he’s not even interested in the beautiful girls all around him. David Carradine starring in this film is a bit of a mystery, it being so far outside his normal repertoire of martial arts/ action flicks.

            But what about the big cartoon monster? After all, that is pretty much the one thing that separates this film from practically every other film in the genre. Today, 2D animation has suffered an ignominious death at the hands of Pixar but there was a time when it was the only game in town and periodically movies would combine animation with live action to varying degrees of success.

            Anyone over 45 will probably remember Pete’s Dragon. That film (which was one of the standbys that my elementary school teachers had for slow days) put a cartoon dragoon in a live action world. The gold standard for this art form was Who Framed Roger Rabbit, which came out in 1988. Animation impresario Ralph Bakshi would combine animation and live action to create the memorable, sexy film Cool World. Well, Evil Toons doesn’t get anywhere near those films. In the common Hollywood game of “want, settle, get” you want Roger Rabbit, you’ll settle for Cool World, but you get Evil Toons.

 

I would have almost thought that the cartoon monster was not the original intention, like it was a last minute fix for a special effects creature that didn’t work out, if not for the cartoons in the grimoire that seem to indicate that this was the plan for the movie all along. No matter, as I said earlier, the reason you watch this film is for the female cast. Everything else is just garnish on the plate.

            So if you’re expecting big budget, or even low budget, special effects or a well thought out story, then you should probably skip Evil Toons. However, if you are wanting a highly concentrated dose of hotness from a bygone era, then this is just the movie you’ve been looking for.

Studio 666

  

 

Studio 666

2022

Director- B. J. McDonnell

Cast- Dave Grohl, Taylor Hawkins, Nate Mendel, Pat Smear, Chris Shiflett, Rami Jaffee, Whitney Cummings, Will Forte, Jeff Garlin, Leslie Grossman, Kerry King, Lionel Richie, John Carpenter, Jenna Ortega

            The rock band Foo Fighters are trying to produce their 10^th album but lead singer Dave Grohl is suffering from a severe creative block and can’t think of new material. In an effort to inspire their creativity, their manager sets them up to record in a now empty Encino  home that was once the site where several successful bands recorded. Unfortunately it was also the site of several murders when the leader singer of the band Dream Window brutally massacred his bandmates.

 

            The band is not thrilled with the arrangements but Dave runs roughshod over the group, talking them into living in the house for a month while they record. Dave can sense there is something special in the house and hopes it will unblock his creative constipation. 

            While exploring, he finds an old reel to reel tape from the band Dream Window. Upon playing it, demonic forces are unleashed that possess Dave. He is compelled to write a song, a song that when finished will unleash terrible Satanic powers.

            The best word that I can use to describe this movie is “odd.” Horror-comedy is a difficult tightrope to walk anyway without adding the element of the Foo Fighters playing fictionalized versions of themselves. à la Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park. The movie is more of a parody than an actual horror movie, poking fun at many horror tropes, like pointlessly staying in an obviously deadly environment.  Don’t expect this to be a musical like Rocky Horror or Phantom of the Paradise. The music is a plot device not the star of the show. Having said that, Foo Fighters did record a song as the fake band Dream Window for the movie and it genuinely sounds like thrash metal. 

            There were many places in the movie that seemed like inside jokes, some that I got and some that I didn’t. Broadly there are horror jokes and music jokes (like Dave discovering a new note, “L sharp”) but there were other jokes that were over my head that probably required a more in depth knowledge of Foo Fighters or rock  music.

            The band members are the stars of the film and the acting performances are about what you would expect but they have some help. Will Forte and Whitney Cummings help support the comedic efforts. Horror fans may recognize Leslie Grossman from numerous episodes of American Horror Story. There is also a cameo by Jenna Ortega (The Babysitter Killer Queen and the new Scream relaunch) who is on her way to becoming a Scream Queen in her own right. Of course, horror fans will recognize John Carpenter, who is no stranger to music, as the studio engineer mixing the band’s recordings.

            The selling point for the film, at least for horror fans, in the creative old school gore. There are lots of really disgusting, bloody deaths in the movie, several that will cause you to laugh out loud. Also, I can say that I really didn’t know which direction the movie was going to go next which is a rarity in today’s movies.

            Fans of horror-comedy, or just odd movies, will want to check it out. Fans of Foo Fighters, or just old timer Generation Xers, will probably want to check it out too. I can remember owning Nevermind on cassette in 1991 and it was somehow comforting to see that Grohl was looking as old as me.

    

The Babysitter: Killer Queen

 

The Babysitter: Killer Queen

2020

Director- McG

Cast- Judah Lewis, Emily Alyn Lind, Jenna Ortega, Robbie Amell, King Bach, Bella Thorne, Hana Mae Lee, Ken Marino, Leslie Bibb, Chris Wylde, Samara Weaving

            If you haven’t seen The Babysitter, you’re in luck because it’s still on Netflix.  If you haven’t seen it, you totally need to see it before seeing this sequel as this is a true sequel and won’t be nearly as enjoyable if you’re not up to speed. (If you’re interested a review is here).

           

      In the first movie, we meet Cole, a dooffus kid with a crush on his super-hot but way too much older babysitter (Samara Weaving). Unfortunately, she was the head of a murderous satanic cult who planned to use him as a sacrifice to the Dark Lord. Cole spent that movie fighting off, and gruesomely killing, all of the members of the cult in a kind of Home Alone meets Helter Skelter.

            Now, two years have passed. No one believes Cole about what happened and he goes through high school being ridiculed. His only sense of comfort comes from Melanie, his age appropriate crush from the first film (you’ll recognize Emily Alyn Lind from her wonderful performance as Snakebite Andi in Dr. Sleep). Cole is trying to move on with his life but the cultists from the first movie are back. They have been reanimated by the powers of darkness and now have another chance to take a shot at Cole.  The X-factor in all of this is Phoebe, the new girl in school, who rumor has it, killed her parents. Will she be an ally or another agent of evil?

           

     If the Babysitter was a dark comedy, then Killer Queen is an absurd comedy. The gore is even more outrageous and its full of silliness that lets you know not to take it seriously in the least. It’s not as clever or original as the first, but isn’t that always the way of sequels? But what it lacks in cleverness it makes up with in farce.

            Kudos to the makers of this film for bringing back the entire cast of the first movie. It feels like a fun reunion. Like with the first film, if you are looking for chills, move on. This is a parody. If you want something funny and gory, then check it out.

     

       

The Witches of Eastwick

  

The Witches of Eastwick

1987

Director- George Miller

Cast- Jack Nicholson, Cher, Michelle Pfeiffer, Susan Sarandon, Veronica Cartwright, Carel Struycken

            

     You’re not likely to find a movie with better credentials than this. The director and the four principal performers have either won or been nominated for Oscars, not to mention a musical score by John Williams and it was based on a novel by Pulitzer Prize winning author John Updike. But this movie doesn’t rely on star power alone. It is clever and, for its day, provocative.

            

     Three women, Alexandra (Cher), Jane (Sarandon) and Sukie (Pfeiffer) are friends in a small New England town. They get together and lament the problems in their life, particularly the lack of a good man. They are each creative women. Alexandra is a sculptor, Jane is a musician and Sukie’s creative energy expresses itself in a more literal sense in that she has a whole passel of children. Their energy is also being stifled. No one buys Alexandra’s sculptures, Jane is stuck directing a terrible elementary school band, and Sukie’s husband leaves her because she gets pregnant every time she has sex.

           

    

      Enter into this, Daryl Van Horne (Nicholson), a mysterious out of towner who buys the local historic landmark, a mansion where they used to burn witches. Van Horne suffers from a severe excess of personality and is forward to the point of vulgarity. He quickly brings the women into a four way relationship. He cultivates their individuality and creativity and their latent magical energy flourishes.  The women have the ability to make things happen simply by focusing on it. However, when Daryl’s sinister nature becomes apparent, the women decide to take a break from the relationship and Daryl lashes out, forcing the women to team up and fight back.

            

     The movie is a showcase for Jack Nicholson as an obvious Satanic figure. He is allowed to get as wild and silly as he wants which only helps to make the character more bizarre.  Almost lost amongst the star power is a fine supporting performance by Veronica Cartwright (Alien, Invasion of the Body Snatchers). She plays a prominent woman in the town who is particularly sensitive to the presence of Van Horne’s evil. She loses her mind slowly as she tries in vain to warn the townspeople.

            

     

     

    As for its three leading ladies, this movie was made when they were all at the top of their game. Cher had just begun her 3^rd musical comeback and released a platinum album that year and a triple platinum album (Heart of Stone) two years later. On top of all of that she was also in two other critically acclaimed movies the same as year as Witches; Suspect with Dennis Quaid and Moonstruck, for which Cher won an Oscar.

            

     Susan Sarandon is probably not thought of as a genre actress but had a long history of genre credits including Rocky Horror Picture Show and The Hunger with David Bowie. She paid her dues and Witches came along as she was finally reaping the benefits, starring in several important movies over the next few years including her Oscar winning performance in Thelma and Louise in 1991.

           

     Michelle Pfeiffer was likewise beginning to enjoy the fruits of her labor. Though not in the business as long as Sarandon, she was in the excellent Ladyhawke a few years earlier and Scarface before that. The year after Witches she was in three different Oscar nominated movies and the next year she was nominated herself for The Fabulous Baker Boys.

            

     For its day, this movie was saying some pretty far out things. It talks about the power of these three women and the tendency of the townspeople, even other women, to view powerful women suspiciously. The sexual freedom they experience with Van Horne is gossiped about and the women become ostracized. These insights may seem obvious now, a generation later, but at the time there weren’t a lot of movies examining these ideas. The idea of women being oppressed and empowered was revisited by the film’s director, George Miller, in Fury Road. Those familiar with Miller only through his Mad Max movies may be surprised to find out that he directed this, but Miller is very diverse (having won an Oscar for the animated Penguin cartoon, Happy Feet).

            

     Despite its title, there is very little witchcraft involved. The women only cast one spell, a type of voodoo ritual. The rest of their magic is more of their will manifesting itself in the world around them. However, the act of effecting reality through one’s willpower is pretty much how magic is described in The Devil Rides Out, which is one of the best movies ever made about the subject, so I guess we can forgive this movie for its lack of black robes and pentagrams.

            

     I recommend this movie to anyone wanting a smart supernatural comedy. The fact that it was made with some of the best talent of its decade only adds to the appeal.

Fun fact: Bill Murray was originally cast for the Jack Nicholson part but dropped out before filming started.

 

We Summon the Darkness

We Summon the Darkness

2019

Director- Marc Meyers

Cast- Alexandra Daddario, Keean Johnson, Maddie Hasson, Amy Forsyth, Logan Miller, Austin Swift, Allison McAtee, Johnny Knoxville

            

     This slasher is set against the back drop of the satanic panic of the 1980s. A satanic cult has been killing people in ritualistic massacres leading to the expected sensationalist reporting. Meanwhile, Pastor John Henry Butler (Johnny Knoxville) is leading a televangelist crusade against the forces of evil.

           

     In the midst of this, three girls go to a heavy metal concert. Alexis (Daddario) is the leader of the group. Valerie (Hasson) is the slightly flakey and adventurous type. Beverly (Forsyth) is the quiet newcomer to the group. At the concert they meet a trio of guys making a farewell trip for their bud Mark (Keean Johnson who you may recognize from Battle Angel Alita) before he moves out to LA in search of fortune and glory.

           

     

     The girls invite the guys to a party at Alexis’ giant house since her parents are away for the weekend. As it turns out the girls aren’t in any danger of being killed by a cult, because they are members of it. They drug the three guys and prepare them for a sacrifice. Don’t worry, that’s not a spoiler. You figure this out pretty early in the film. The boys break free and barricade themselves and that’s when the real drama of the movie begins.

            

     All three of the female leads turn in good performances and I liked the flipping of the traditional slasher theme by having the ladies being the bloodthirsty killers instead of the hapless victims. The story moves along at a good pace and though not a horror-comedy, it has enough humor to show that it’s not taking itself too seriously. I really only had one problem with the film; it wasn’t very 80s.

            

     The film makes a point to let you know that it’s taking place in the 80s. There is even a discussion about Metallica bassist Jason Newstead replacing the dearly departed Cliff Burton.  The discussion even mentions that the first album with Newstead (which would make that Garage Days Re-Revisited) was dropping in a month which means that the movie takes place in 1987. But beyond that super specific Metallica reference, I don’t know that there is anything else in the film that would have clued you in to the fact that it takes place in the 80s. The costumes are the sort of generic outfits you could see at any hard rock concert 40 years ago or today. The girl’s hair dos are certainly not big enough for the 80s.And other than a prominently featured Heaven Is a Place on Earth by Belinda Carlisle, there is no 80s music! A movie set against the heavy metal scene of the 80s and they couldn’t get one Judas Priest song? No Iron Maiden? Surely if ever a movie warranted Mötley Crüe’s Shout at the Devil it’s this one. I mean, I didn’t expect them to shoot the movie on VHS, but I think the makers missed a real chance to give us some homage/ nostalgia. But se la vie my friend.

            

     The movie definitely leaves the door open for a sequel and I’d watch it just to see what happens with the surviving characters, but if there is a next time, maybe a little more work on making the film feel more retro.