Studio 666

  

 

Studio 666

2022

Director- B. J. McDonnell

Cast- Dave Grohl, Taylor Hawkins, Nate Mendel, Pat Smear, Chris Shiflett, Rami Jaffee, Whitney Cummings, Will Forte, Jeff Garlin, Leslie Grossman, Kerry King, Lionel Richie, John Carpenter, Jenna Ortega

            The rock band Foo Fighters are trying to produce their 10^th album but lead singer Dave Grohl is suffering from a severe creative block and can’t think of new material. In an effort to inspire their creativity, their manager sets them up to record in a now empty Encino  home that was once the site where several successful bands recorded. Unfortunately it was also the site of several murders when the leader singer of the band Dream Window brutally massacred his bandmates.

 

            The band is not thrilled with the arrangements but Dave runs roughshod over the group, talking them into living in the house for a month while they record. Dave can sense there is something special in the house and hopes it will unblock his creative constipation. 

            While exploring, he finds an old reel to reel tape from the band Dream Window. Upon playing it, demonic forces are unleashed that possess Dave. He is compelled to write a song, a song that when finished will unleash terrible Satanic powers.

            The best word that I can use to describe this movie is “odd.” Horror-comedy is a difficult tightrope to walk anyway without adding the element of the Foo Fighters playing fictionalized versions of themselves. à la Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park. The movie is more of a parody than an actual horror movie, poking fun at many horror tropes, like pointlessly staying in an obviously deadly environment.  Don’t expect this to be a musical like Rocky Horror or Phantom of the Paradise. The music is a plot device not the star of the show. Having said that, Foo Fighters did record a song as the fake band Dream Window for the movie and it genuinely sounds like thrash metal. 

            There were many places in the movie that seemed like inside jokes, some that I got and some that I didn’t. Broadly there are horror jokes and music jokes (like Dave discovering a new note, “L sharp”) but there were other jokes that were over my head that probably required a more in depth knowledge of Foo Fighters or rock  music.

            The band members are the stars of the film and the acting performances are about what you would expect but they have some help. Will Forte and Whitney Cummings help support the comedic efforts. Horror fans may recognize Leslie Grossman from numerous episodes of American Horror Story. There is also a cameo by Jenna Ortega (The Babysitter Killer Queen and the new Scream relaunch) who is on her way to becoming a Scream Queen in her own right. Of course, horror fans will recognize John Carpenter, who is no stranger to music, as the studio engineer mixing the band’s recordings.

            The selling point for the film, at least for horror fans, in the creative old school gore. There are lots of really disgusting, bloody deaths in the movie, several that will cause you to laugh out loud. Also, I can say that I really didn’t know which direction the movie was going to go next which is a rarity in today’s movies.

            Fans of horror-comedy, or just odd movies, will want to check it out. Fans of Foo Fighters, or just old timer Generation Xers, will probably want to check it out too. I can remember owning Nevermind on cassette in 1991 and it was somehow comforting to see that Grohl was looking as old as me.

    

The Vineyard

  

The Vineyard

1989

Director- James Hong

Cast- James Hong, Karen Witter ,Michael Wong,  Sherri Ball, Sean P. Donahue, Karl Heinz Teuber

            Veteran character actor James Hong (Blade Runner, Missing in Action, Big Trouble in Little China) is known for memorable supporting roles, but The Vineyard has him taking center stage. Hong wrote, directed, and starred in this entertaining, sleazy horror film.

            Hong plays Dr. Po, a renowned winemaker whose vintages are sold for enormous sums. In reality Po is a sorcerer who has prolonged his life thousands of years by absorbing the Chi energy of his victims. In some confusing way, his victim’s Chi is also used to make the wine, but that’s not that important.

            Po has a dungeon full of beautiful, lingerie clad women that he keeps chained up  until it’s time to absorb their Chi. The bound harem includes his wife who he found having an affair with one of the servants. After their energy is absorbed, the victims becomes  undead zombies. Po tries to keep the creatures buried with sacred earth, but they periodically climb out and roam around at night.

            As he needs a steady supply of energy, he invites a group of young wanna be actors to his island, under the auspices that he is shooting a movie. One by one they start meeting disastrous fates (including one that coughs ups spiders!). Po gets a surprise when one of the young people (Playboy Playmate Karen Witter) turns out to be a woman of a particular destiny and Po plans on sacrificing her to appease some  gods to which he  is indebted.

 

  

            James Hong’s most famous role is the demonic Mandarin David Lo Pan in Big Trouble in Little China. On the off chance that you haven’t seen Big Trouble ,stop reading this and go find a copy as it is one of the most fun movies that you’ll ever see. If you have seen Big Trouble, The Vineyard could very well be an origin story for David Lo Pan. Both movies have 1) Hong playing an immortal sorcerer who alternates between young and old 2) a beautiful girl that must be sacrificed to appease the gods 3) plenty of Chinese lore. All that’s missing are three kick ass supernatural henchmen.

            Hong’s film career goes back to the mid1950s and includes literally over 400 acting credits. Surprisingly though, in a 70 year career, he only directed 3 feature length films.  He directed two exploitation films in the 1970s (Teen Lust and Hot Connections) and then nothing else until The Vineyard in 1989. The Vineyard isn’t an Academy Award winner, not by a long shot, but it is a competent, entertaining horror film. It’s hard to believe, with the sheer size of his career, that Hong never returned to the director’s chair. I don’t know if this has been by his choice or simply a lack of opportunities.

 

            The Vineyard has good practical effects and make up (having been made before CGI). It has a generous helping of nudity like any good video store era horror film. This isn’t the movie for someone wanting a subtle, character driven drama. But if you want something fun, then try The Vineyard.

Fun fact #1- Along with Big Trouble in Little China, James Hong starred in another  dark fantasy steeped in Asian lore, The Golden Child. That film also featured his Big Trouble costar, Victor Wong.

Fun fact #2- Still wanting more Asian themed James Hong horror? Check out the bizarre Ninja 3: The Domination.

 

Black Magic

 

Black Magic

1975

Director- Ho Meng Hua

Cast- Ti Lung, Lo Lieh, Tien Lie, Lily Li, Ku Feng, Ku Wen-chung

            Shan Chien-mi is a rather vile necromancer for hire that specializes in death spells and love spells. As such, much of his clientele is jilted and jealous lovers. As the story begins Shan is hired to kill a young couple in love. He does so but is discovered and run out of town by the local good sorcerer, Master Fu.

            Shan relocates to the big city and is hired by a con man to make a rich widow fall in love with him. Shan casts the spell but the con doesn’t pay his bill so Shan smites him with a death spell (note: always pay your debts to necromancers). As it happens, the widow, who is rather hot and hot to trot, has unrequited love for another young man so she employs Shan. Shan casts the spell but decides he wants her for himself so he puts a spell on her. Deception and intrigues abound until Master Fu finally catches up and saves the day. The final battle between Fu and Shan is way over the top silly, involving psychic lasers and force fields, but Shaw Brothers isn’t exactly Lucasfilms, so I think we can forgive the campiness since the film ,up to that point, is pretty solid.

 

            The intrigues make the film feel a bit like a soap opera but luckily the story is saved by some colorful scenes. Though not gory throughout, it does have some surprisingly effective horror imagery, usually involving the necromancer’s spells. He carves off flesh, sets corpses’ heads on fire, worms appear under people’s skin, etc.

            Shan is also a bit of a perv. It seems like one of the main ingredients in his spells is breast milk and he likes to get it straight from the source of his female clients. There isn’t a lot of nudity, this is Hong Kong in the 70s after all, but there is enough to add a salacious edge to the film.

            The most interesting part of the movie to me was the occult lore involved. I know next to nothing about Chinese sorcery, so I don’t know how much was genuine folklore and how much was Shaw Brothers creation, but it was bizarre enough (from a Western point of view) to seem like it was at least legitimate folklore. Things like, melting a corpses’ face to extract spell components, inserting bamboo into a pressure point to allow worms to escape, or eating centipedes to cure insanity make a welcome change to the Western horror that usually just involves splashing some Holy Water and waving a crucifix.

Fans of Shaw Brothers films will see a lot of recognizable faces, but otherwise it doesn’t feel like a Shaw Brothers film. There is no kung fu and I don’t think any of the Deadly Venoms make an appearance.

Fun fact- This wasn’t the Shaw Brothers only venture into horror. Though known for action films, they made several other horror films over the years. Their best known horror movie (in the West) was their collaboration with Hammer studios, Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires. They also made The Enchanting Shadow, the first movie adaptation of the Nie Xiaoqian story, which was the basis of A Chinese Ghost Story.

Antlers

 

Antlers

2021

Director- Scott Cooper

Cast- Keri Russell, Jeremy T. Thomas, Jesse Plemons, Graham Greene, Scott Haze, Amy Madigan, Rory Cochrane, Sawyer Jones

            This modern day folk horror centers on the Wendigo, a malevolent entity from the mythology of the native peoples of North America. If you are unfamiliar with the Wendigo, its folklore usually involves cannibalism; it drives people to eat the flesh of others or people become the Wendigo after eating the flesh of others.

            This story takes place in a dying Oregon town where drug addiction and poverty are slowly eating it away. The film begins with a meth manufacturer being attacked by a monster in in his meth lab housed in an abandoned coal mine. His 12 year old son, Lucas (Jeremy T. Thomas,) finds his father and takes him home. His father begins to change and Lucas is burdened with keeping this secret while finding ways to satisfy his degenerating father’s hunger for meat.

            But this secret can’t stay hidden for long. Lucas’ teacher (Keri Russell) can tell that something is wrong with Lucas and starts nosing around in Lucas’ life. Meanwhile, people are disappearing around town and later their bodies are found mangled and partially devoured. The only person who seems to know what’s happening is the town’s old retired sheriff (played by Graham Greene). He is familiar with the lore of the Wendigo, but of course no one takes him seriously.

            Antlers is a pretty serious film. It doesn’t have any of the humor or light hearted moments that horror films often use to give breaks in the tension. It starts off grim and ends that way. The sky is always grey, the ground is wet and the leaves are falling off of the trees.

 

Addiction figures prominently in the story. The film doesn’t hit you over the head with it, but it pops up all through the film in the background; Lucas’ dad making meth, references to people getting narcaned, radio broadcasts about opiate addiction, people standing in line at a methadone clinic, an alcoholic staring longingly at a wall of bottles. Graham Greene’s description of the Wendigo even sounds rather like addiction when he says that the more it eats, the hungrier it gets. Lucas’ denial about his father’s condition and his attempts to hide it from others seem very much like the classic codependent in an addicted family. Along with this, poverty, child abuse and neglect also figure prominently into the background of the story. With all of these depressing themes, the monster and the gory murders almost seem like a relief from the grim tone of the film.

The film was shot in late 2018 with an early 2020 release planned. But like everything else in the world, its release kept getting pushed back by Covid-19. It has finally arrived just in time for Halloween weekend, 2021. I think this was probably for the best anyway. The film’s grey skies and leaf covered grounds feel right for a dreary Fall day.

Don’t watch this if you’re looking for a light hearted distraction while munching on some snacks. On the other hand, if you’re in the mood for some folk horror that sticks with you after the film is over, Antlers is worth your time.

I Drink Your Blood

 

 

I Drink Your Blood

1971

Director- David E. Durston

Cast- Bhaskar Roy Chowdhury, Jadin Wong, Rhonda Fultz, George Patterson, Arlene Farber, Lynn Lowry

            Rabid Satanists; that sums up the plot of this film in 2 words. It’s an idea so bizarrely funny, I can’t believe no one had thought of it before!

            A cult of Satanic, LSD tripping hippies breaks down on the side of the road and takes refuge in a nearby rural community that’s on its way to becoming a ghost town. The cult is headed by Horace Bones (great name!), a charismatic, Manson-inspired, autocrat.

 

   

            The cult holds up in an abandoned house where they go about torturing one of their own members for kicks. The town’s apparent patriarch, an old man who happens to be the town veterinarian, sticks his nose into their business and gets beat up. If you ask me, he got off light. If horror movies have taught me anything, its to stay away from hippies. The old man’s grandson decides to take revenge.

            The kid works at the only remaining store in town, where the Satanists have been buying their groceries (the Prince of Darkness doesn’t supply everything you know!). The kid kills a rabid dog, drains its blood, and injects that blood into meat pies sold to the Satanists. I have to say, that’s a pretty devious plot. Maybe that kid missed his calling and should have joined up with the hippies.

            The Satanists partake of the tainted meat pies and soon show signs of infection. In short order they become rabid, murderous maniacs that start killing each other and the locals. At one point, one of the female Satanists goes down to the local mining camp for a gang bang which results in a whole bunch of rabid miners (no, rabies it’s not sexually transmitted, lol).

            The movie is silly in places as its depiction and description of rabies is laughably inaccurate. However, since the hippies were also on acid, I guess we can chalk up any inaccuracies to that. Besides, if you’re watching I Drink Your Blood as prep for your microbiology exam, I guess you’re already in trouble.

            The movie was released as part of a double feature with I Eat Your Skin (a previously unreleased zombie film that had its name changed for the purpose of creating a memorable double billing). It has developed a cult following and despite any shortcomings, has a lot to recommend it.

 

            About 30 years before “diversity” became a buzzword, the Satanic cult in this film was made of brown, black, white, east  Asian, and Indian members (I guess Satan has always been egalitarian). Bhaskar Roy Chowdhury’s performance as Horace the cult leader is very good. He has Hollywood level good looks and you have to wonder why he never went on to a bigger career. There is some memorable gore that looks pretty convincing. Animal rights advocates may want to skip the film. There are a few scenes involving animals and given the film’s age and low budget, I assume they were using the real thing. If you can handle that, I Drink Your Blood is a fun addition to your grindhouse collection.

Fun fact- Scream Queen Lynn Lowry made her film debut in this movie as the sexiest member of the hippie cult. Two years later she would star in George Romero’s The Crazies (another movie about people driven homicidal by an infection) and then two years later she would star in yet another film about homicidal infection, David Cronenberg’s Shivers.

The Hexecutioners

 

 

The Hexecutioners

2015

Director- Jesse Thomas Cook

Cast- Liv Collins, Sarah Power, Timothy Burd, Tony Burgess

            So right off the bat lets acknowledge that Hexecutioners is not a very good name. Sounds like the title of a GWAR song. Now that that’s out of the way we can talk about the movie which is actually pretty original.

 

            The film operates under the premise that euthanasia is now legal across the land. Malison (Liv Collins) is a lowly technician who gets dispatched to carry out the life ending procedures.  She had aspirations that it would be a dignified way to end people’s suffering but she soon runs into the degrading realities of profitable death. Her bosses are less concerned with dignity than the bottom line.

            To cure her of her naiveté, she is paired with Oliva (Sarah Power), a cynical technician who isn’t above skipping the niceties and ending her client’s lives with a bullet to the head.

 

   

            They are sent out to the country to take care of a special client; a millionaire who has paid a hefty sum to have his death carried out in a very specific manner. The client, horribly disfigured, seems to be almost catatonic. Their only other human contact is Edgar (Timothy Burd), the lone care taker and servant. The women find that they have been lured into a house haunted by cursed spirits and they are now unwilling participants in an elaborate occult ritual.

            Hexecutioners is a character driven story that focuses on the personalities of the two women and their relationship. It has a small cast which allows for plenty of character development. It’s a competent horror film that seems informed in regards to its occult elements. There’s no attempt at a happy ending so don’t expect one.